The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
FUCK WHALES
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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