Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
