So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
