i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
