I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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