I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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