Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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