god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
