Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
