So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I fill condoms, not promises.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
