what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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