Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
