I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
