just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
