Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
