I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
