If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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