So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
