Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
