So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
