but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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