The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
