i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
