Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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