Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
