Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
