I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
