Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
