So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
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They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's always time for handjobs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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