I didn't shave. On purpose
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
