ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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