if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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