Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
