She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
