Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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