Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
