Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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