I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize