You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
