Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize