Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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