I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
