its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
