On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
