I can't breathe out the right side of my face
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
