Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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