Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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