What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
