I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
