I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
