apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
