My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They took my balls.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
