So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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