I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
