I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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