dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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