Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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