I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize