it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
