You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
