I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
